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Friday, December 16, 2005

The nadir of base perfidy!

OK, so maybe i'm going over the top a bit here, but it's a great phrase, and people who nick lighters are scum. I'm perfectly prepared to accept that my addictive personality makes me react to finding that i can't light my fag in a more extreme way than your average nicotine addict but, really, come on!

Picture the scene: you're walking home after a pleasant evening, maybe it's 03:30 am or so, perhaps you've inhaled some Ganj (if you don't know what that is, you're on the wrong site: go away), not enough to give you the fear (perhaps just 2nd hand fumes), you don't feel any cold, the sky is clear, burglar's moon, beautiful stars... you feel content and contemplative, you're in no hurry to get home. A fag as you dawdle along will go down nicely right now, eh?

So you get one together but no light! You frantically search your pockets, but no joy! Now you really want this fag, the more stressed you get the more you want it! The peace of the night is shattered, especially if you live in some 19th century stylee benighted hole that doesn't have 24hr shops. It's at this point that you remember giving somebody a light earlier, but not getting the precious article back. Now, am i wrong, or does that person need a kick in the crotch?

I've resorted to attaching my lighter to my keyring with a clip before, but they still get nicked. For some people it seems to be a form of kleptomania, sometimes they genuinely don't even realise they're doing it. Of course, in this latter instance, the swift application of a fist to the offending biceps will bring the gravity of the situation home adequately and i commend this course of action to DLA's everywhere.

So, have any of you had one of the new Swan refillable lighters? The black ones are well cool: matte rubberised finish, very tactile. Oh aye, gotta have a refillable lighter, innit? Disposables are a resource wasting calumny. For sure, refillabes wear out eventually, even though you can replace the flint, because the strike-wheel stops working. You can extend their life by using a needle or pin to clean the dead skin/scuzz, that builds up, off them. Of course, if it wasn't for fucking lighter thieving cunts, we could get a decent lighter that lasts even longer, thus wasting even less resources, but who can afford to keep replacing them?

Now, there'll be some non-smokers out there, especially reformed smokers, who think this is funny and that the simple answer would be to give it up. Well as i've mentioned before, i'm trying to get up the will power to do so, but should i succeed, i'll not be having a go at those who continue. Why would i do that, since i know all to well how pernicious an affliction nicotine addiction is? As i've also mentioned before, in the meantime those of you who take this attitude can feel entirely at liberty to fuck right off!

In a similar vein, as it were, you'll notice that just because i can no longer consume recreational drugs without very negative consequences, i've not suddenly started supporting the ridiculous policy of banning them. Yes, they do fuck you up, if you're not careful, and if you're unlucky even if you are careful, but so does a lot of things, the most common being the nuclear family (which we will get to at some future point). You'd have thought that the example of US Alcohol Prohibition would have been enough to dissuade people over the advisability of attempting to legislate over what a person can or cannot consume, eh? Then again, given that Prohibition had to be repealed and we see a similar public flouting of the law, with all it's attendant costs to society, perhaps the fact that drug laws remain has little to do with the supposed purpose of restricting their use? After all, there's a huge infrastructure involved here and fortunes to be made by those rich enough to import container loads of whatever. It's not as if it's the, usually poor, people who typically get busted for drugs who can afford to keep the supply flowing, eh?

Obviously drug laws will be relaxed eventually, because the cost of enforcing them will be seen as an increasingly frivolous waste of money when the costs of caring for our aging populations, here in the west, start to really bite. When that happens and, for those of you who currently enjoy a hassle free supply of your favourites, i'd ask you to remember that your freedom of choice has been bought by the efforts of many who were prepared to flout the law in times when doing so was a much riskier enterprise, many of whom have become casualties in the War Against Conservativism.

While you're at it, check out Ky-mani Marley's tune 'Warriors' from his album 'The Journey'. You can hear it being played by DJ Dread@It's Reggae.com (from the radio selector above) a lot right now. In fairness, it goes off into some of the usual self-agrandising arse, but hey, what can you do? It's a proper tune...
One time for my warriors, my last smugglers and all my buffalo soldiers
One time for my warriors, my heat carriers and all my buffalo, yo

Full Lyrics
The Journey: hear snippets/buy it.

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